I want to start by saying thank you to those of you that have taken the time to reach out to me over the past few months to check on me. I have loved sharing my non-toxic cleaning tips and easy recipes with you over the past 8 years, but the past few months have been super difficult, and I needed to step away for a while.
I’m not usually one to share my personal life with others, but I feel compelled to share what has happened, because while the events of the past few months have totally rocked our family, they have also reinforced my belief that using non-toxic products and cooking meals with whole foods are not only extremely important, but also life saving.
Sidenote – I took the above photo in Hilton Head, South Carolina this summer where we went to rejuvenate and take a break from all of the sadness. This photo and quote have been a reminder to me that hope is so important. If you’d like to share it or use it for yourself, you can find it Here where you can download it for free.
So, what’s been going on in my life?
Everything seemed to go awry this past spring, when my father-in-law had a massive heart attack and passed away. My own father was never really in my life, so Joe was the only real father I ever had. Losing him was like losing my own father…the one that God placed in my life to make up for the absentee father. His sudden death rocked our family to its core and left us all seriously lost. Matt’s mom wasn’t in good health at the time and was admitted to the hospital for over a week shortly after his death. She ended up having to have surgery and wasn’t well for a while, which was really difficult on top of grieving. Matt was totally lost, and our kids were devastated, and I was trying to keep it together for all of them while I could barely cope. Joe was an amazing father and the best Papaw…he was one of a kind, and losing him left us all in shock and kind of dazed for a few months. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real to any of us.
Then came the second wave…the one that would truly knock the wind out of my sails. After going to the doctor for what my mom believed was her yearly bout of bronchitis, she had an x-ray to see what was going on. That x-ray led to a CT scan that led to a cancer diagnosis…most likely stage 4, but possibly a high 3. The cancer was in most of her lymph nodes and also her abdomen, her lungs were filled with fluid and there was fear that it could enter her nervous system because of a tumor located in her cavernous sinus. I tried to be strong, because that’s how I’ve always handled hard things, but most days, I was totally faking it. I spent a lot of hours in my bed crying and wondering how life could be so unfair. I had many conversations with my little sister about what we were going to do if we lost our mother…something I never thought I would have to think about. And I had to tell my Grandmommy, which I knew could be too hard for her to handle…that was hard. Cancer was not in my plans. Cancer is never in anyone’s plans, right?
I’ve become all too familiar with words like non hodgkin’s lymphoma, plural effusions and of course, chemotherapy. I’ve learned that when you go to the hospital for a scan, procedure, chemotherapy or just about anything, 2 hours typically turns into 5 or 6 hours, or even an overnight stay. I’ve spent a lot of time watching and talking to other patient’s families while sitting for hours at a time in waiting rooms, and have also gained a whole different kind of relationship with my own mother. It’s strange and ironic how my mother being sick could help transform our relationship into the one we have both always wished we had. I’ve never seen someone who has been given such a grim diagnosis be so positive. Her amazing attitude about the whole thing has been the biggest blessing and has helped keep me and the rest of our family from falling into a dark hole. Funny how horrible circumstances can turn into an amazing gift at the same time.
UPDATE: We got some fantastic news at mom’s last appointment…her latest scan shows marked improvement, which means that the chemo is working! It may make her as sick as a dog, but it’s working!!! I’d totally appreciate any positive thoughts and prayers for my sweet mama!
So, What’s next for me and Mom 4 Real
With everything that has gone in the past few months, I have found myself at a loss when it comes to having energy and enthusiasm for much. So, I decided to take the past couple of weeks to really reflect and decide what I wanted to do going forward. Researching and working on this blog bring me so much happiness, and I knew that I needed to get back to work not only for my readers, but also for myself. I take great pride in being able to help others learn to clean their homes with non-toxic ingredients and with sharing new and easy recipes that aren’t filled with processed foods that your family will enjoy. When a reader sends me a note saying that I helped them in some way, it fills me up to the brim with happiness!
I decided it was time to hit the virtual reset button, and I’ve immersed myself in research over the past couple of weeks. I’m so excited and reinvigorated for the first time in a long time! I have a ton of new cleaning tips, non-toxic cleaning recipes, easy and delicious recipes for your whole family and even some budget friendly decorating ideas. I’m ready to live my best life again and hope that by sharing these things with you, I can inspire you to live your best life in a smart, healthy and budget friendly way too!
Here are a sneak of what you will be seeing soon…
I’ll be sharing all of the details on how I organize our refrigerator so we know exactly what we have and use it to menu plan and to pack lunches with ease! It’s been a game changer for our family for sure! I’ve shared some fridge organizing in the past…this will be an updated version.
I plan on sharing some new menu plans with recipes that can be made with like ingredients so you don’t have to break the bank to feed your family. I’ve got a new Gnat Killer that I’ll be sharing next week along with an easy and delicious recipe for Air Fryer Chicken Breasts and Oven Roasted Crispy Chicken and Potatoes. I’m also enlisting my daughter Kate to help come up with some fun kid’s lunches that you can pack for your kiddos! Y’all, there is so much good stuff that I can’t wait to share with you!
Also, there is an amazing new feature that I added to the blog before everything went sideways! Since I get so many reader questions, I added a reader question and answer page! You can ask me any questions you like, and I will answer them! This is a great place to check if you have a question to see if it has already been asked and answered, and I’d love for y’all to chime in if you know the answers or have your own opinions! As long as everyone keeps it nice and kind of course! You can Ask Questions HERE and find All of the Answers HERE!
I hope that you will continue this wild ride with me, and wish you and your families good health and happiness! If there is ever an idea you would like to share or something that I can help you with, I hope you will reach out to me! You can drop me a line at jessica@mom4real.com or ask questions HERE!
Love and hugs to you and yours,
Jess
Rita C at Panoply says
atJessica, I’m so sorry for what this year has thrown you and your family to deal with. Cancer sucks, there’s just no other way to say it, whether it’s stage 0 or 5. It’s one of the most frightening and surreal things a person must deal with, let alone the entire family network that makes it their business to be involved (and coming from a very big family, I know that sometimes a person’s makeup isn’t cut from a pattern that easily allows them to want to be involved. Complicated).
My very best wishes to your mom and to you, your sister, and family. I’m really glad you’re in a place where you feel energized again. Your readers will surely appreciate it!
Jessica says
atThank you so for the sweet words, Rita!
Frances E Mosconi says
atJessica I am so sorry for all you are going through. Be strong God will see you through this hard time.
Trust in God!!
Fran
Judy L Hales says
atPrayers for brighter days ahead…sorry for your loss
Jane says
atI will pray for your mom. Also, I’m glad you’re doing an air fryer recipe because I just got one! Stay strong, sweetie!
Jessica says
atThank you, Jane! And thanks for the giggle too…I’m going to overwhelm you with air fryer recipes…I’m obsessed!
Jen Marrs says
atJess I am praying for your entire family and your sweet mom. Thank you for sharing and I’m truly sorry for all the sadness and loss that has come your way. Thinking of you and sending you the biggest hug possible. Love you!
Jessica says
atThanks so much, Jen! I hope your sweet family is doing well! Sending a hug right back at ya!
Karen Ploransky says
atIt’s hard when you are getting hit from all sides and haven’t had a chance to absorb the first hit before the other’s some. I’m so sorry about your father (in law). and I’m sending prayers for you , your mom, and your family.
Melissa Riker says
atI’m so sorry for all you’ve been battling Jessica, I’ll keep your family in my prayers for sure.
Mrs Major Hoff says
atOh man, sweet friend, when it rains it pours. I’m so sorry that you and your family are in the low valley right now, and I hope you can enjoy the highs of the mountains soon. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really come to realize there are way more seasons to life then I ever imagined. So glad to hear your mama is doing better. Sometimes a break from the blog when life is hectic can become a blessing in disguise. Be sure to take time for yourself, for “mental health/ recharge” days. We are all here waiting patiently for you—- love on your family, take your time and don’t stress yourself out. We aren’t going anywhere!
BeccaP says
atMrs Major Hoff said EXACTLY what I was feeling and said it SO Well!! We Love You!!
Marybeth Henry says
atI am proud to be your little sister!
Love ♥️
Elizabeth says
atMy heart is with you. I will pray that our Lied gives you courage, strength, hope through your journey. May God Bless you and your family.
Becky says
atJess, I am so sorry for your loss and for all that you and your family have had to face and deal with this year. Love and prayers are being sent your way.
Deborah says
atJess,
Death is so final and shocking for us all!
Especially when it is unexpected!
I have learned over the years that some deaths can even be a relief.
Prayers for your mother!
You are a gifted young lady trying to make a difference in our world, and you are! I have a folder where I save many of your posts!
Thank you and please keep going! WE NEED YOU!
Bliss says
atMy father died, my mom got sick, I got pregnant with baby #6 and we were building a house. I felt exactly as you do, and that saying they tell us women that we can’t do it all? It’s not actually accurate. At times like you’re in right now you find out you really can do it all, because you have to, even if none of it is 100%, it’s what you do to get through. People also say you have to take care of yourself. I couldn’t do that then because there were too many others that I put first, and I found that the best practice was the old saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Keep something in your cup so you have enough to give to everyone else. If blogging can be your center, or what keeps your glass fuller, gives you some joy when other things are bleak, that’s what you should do.
Tracey A says
atGod bless you and your family. My many prayers are with you all…..
Linda says
atHugs and prayers!
Cynthia Miron says
atThank you, Jessica for sharing your story and giving us the wonderful quote.
Marce says
at❤️Hard Hugs!❤️
Barbara says
atIf you are able to get back to some semblance of normal this quickly after all these big happenings you are truly AMAZING! I had a “little” cancer diagnosis in 2006 and it took until 2017 for me to regain my positive strength. In between there was surgery(mastectomy), no chemo/radiation, life threatening illness for my husband multiple times, my only family member’s death and losing my long time job so there were a few challenges. Enjoy the hope and feed it! Working on my head is the best health! Flooding my body with 30 fruits and veggies a day helps the rest of me. Many prayers!
Linda Bailey says
atJessica, I am so sorry for your loss and all the challenges you’ve had in the last months. When one door closes, another opens. None of us know how strong we can be until crisis strikes. You have an amazing strength and a positive outlook. God has been with you. Having gone through similar circumstances with family members, doctors, hospitals, etc. I can relate. May God continue to Bless you and your family and give you the strength you need to deal with whatever lies ahead God Bless
Karan Lamoreaux Mell says
atSo sorry to hear of these losses in your life. We are going thru it now with my husband. Stage 4 Metasticised cancer. His attitude is amazing, too. God has his timeline. Keeping up normal in this kind of walk is hard but necessary. My joy is decorative painting, so I do it. Having a booth in an antique store is a plus. I love your website to keep us knowledgeable of the simple things in life and how to use them! Thank you. Blessings to you and your family.
Judi says
atI celebrated 15 years in April of being cancer free..and then in May, I lost my father. So my heart is tender with grief as well…….there is joy, there is sorrow and there is today that I know I can put one foot in front of the other, being surrounded by those that I love and that love me, and that gets me through it with much comfort. Jess, I so enjoy your emails and just love all the “healthy cleaning” products that my house is filled with. Many thanks for all you do, sending you prayers, strength and find the joy in all the memories of your father in law, for he is forever and always in your heart. My prayers are with your Mom, going through chemo is NO JOY, believe me, sending her strength as well!!
Beth Groff says
atJessica I can so relate what you have been through the last few months. After having triple bypass surgery in February 2018 my husband lost his right leg and 2 days later had a bowel reconstruction. A month in the hospital & 12 days in rehab till he came home. My Father passed away in June of 2018 and we had to put my Mother in a nursing home. We discovered my husband had nerves cut in his good leg during the heart surgery to get veins and he has had no feeling ever since. He is basically wheelchair bound. I found prayers have been so good when I felt the door was closing on my world. So glad to hear your Mother received a very good report on her tests. We never know what is ahead in life and how we will be tested. My prayers for your Mothers recovery. Enjoy your blog so much and am so glad you will be continuing .
Fahmeena says
atDear Jess,
This is just to boost you up hoping you will be very strong to face whatever may come your way. Take care and believe in the Almighty.
Shandele Carpenter says
atFaith is stronger than fear. God has a plan even when we cannot wrap our heads around it. Praying for your family. If you don’t mind would it be okay to put out a prayer request for you at my church? I will not disclose names but, I know prayer is incredibly powerful.
Carole McClellan says
atMercy! Your ‘plate’ has been piled up and overflowing. Prayers and hugs to you and your family for the struggles you’ve endured and are still walking through. Prayers for healing and health!
Richella J Parham says
atOh, Jessica. Bless you, friend. What a year you’ve had! I’m so very sorry about the loss of your father-in-law, and I’m also sorry about your mom’s cancer diagnosis. You’re right: no one is ever prepared for that kind of thing! Bless you as you take care of yourself and take care of your family. Glad to know you’ll be able to get back to blogging regularly; I know that your posts are really helpful to people!
Denise Marie Ellison says
atYou get one step at a time. Every morning that you wake up is the gift that you get from G-d. What you choose to do with that gift is all up to you. Today I chose to catch up with your life, if even for only 5 minutes. You do so much for everyone. Always remember to save a couple of jelly beans for yourself. d
Jennifer Ketchum says
atBest of everything
Cathy Bried says
at<3 <3 <3 HUGS JESS
AJ Ross says
atSending big hugs and prayers to you and your family!!
Chrys says
atMy thoughts and prayers are with you!!
Corine Wittmier says
atSending you much love, surrounding you in prayers for courage, mercy, & determination once again. You have gone through so much. Looks like there is much grace flowing into your heart!
🙏🏼❤️🌺
Looking forward to your new blogging!
Vicki Groce says
atDearest Jess,
My heart went out to you, as I read what you have been going through. Since April of this year, we have experienced 7 deaths in our church family, and close friends. It’s been relying on God and His strength is what has gotten us through. Overwhelming? Yes! But I am a firm believer that God knows what hurts us and He will send comfort and strength. You seem to be passionate about your writing. Take those wings of yours and fly!
Lynda Z Grine says
atNo one knows why bad things happen & we never will have the answers. You just have to trust in the Lord & know he’s there beside you.
So glad you’re out of the shock of everything & know how difficult it is to move forward. I, myself am a cancer Survivor X 2 & have lost too many important people in my life too soon from this awfuL disease.
Keep the Faith, grief comes & goes on its own schedule for everyone & take care of yourself so you can be strong, Mom really needs that now!
I enjoy your posts & have tried many of them I’m still using today!
Take Care,
Lynda
Susan E. Ronnfeldt says
atWow! You are one strong girl Miss Jess! We lost my husband to cancer exactly one year ago. He had stage 4 lung cancer, and never ever did he smoke. Neither did I. Our daughters are in their late 30’s, with children, and still to t his day they are having some very difficult days. As am I. When love runs so deep, and then that loved one is gone, there is a huge hole left and no where for that love to go. Through the grace of God, we are getting through this. But we know that will never go away. My husband was a wonderful husband, father and grandfather and we love him till the end of time. So bless you and your family. You have had a lot. I will add your mother to my nightly prayers. Cancer is so tough, and she is being a warrior! Good for her. We never know what God has in store for us. ” If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.” May His Grace and Peace Bless you and your family.
Now, I cannot wait to continue to follow you! I will be looking forward to your posts!
Jenny says
atMy heart goes out to you Jess because I’ve been there.
I’m glad your mother’s doing better and you’re looking forward to being with us again.
Patty says
atDear Jess, I am so sorry to hear about the heartache and sadness that you and your family have been through. Thank you for sharing your story – we’ve had heart disease and cancer in our family so I know how shocking those diagnosis’s can be. I’m so thankful for the good news about your Mom’s treatment. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jeni Benton says
atSo sorry for all of your sorrow. Life can deal us some pretty hard blows, but we can become stronger for going through them. Prayers for you and your family. Hope your mom continues to get better.
Jean h olson says
atI’m so sorry for your very tramatic time and send blessings to you and your family. I missed your articles and I have used 75% of them regularly. I have acquired so many jars, spray bottles I may have to build a new room. Thank you for the
newsletter …I’m 92 and I hope to be reading and using and reading from you for another 6 years..
Lisa W says
atGod bless you and your family! Keep your trust and hope in him!!!!
Ag says
atVery sorry to hear that you and yours have been going through such a bad time. I was too caught up in my own little world to notice that you weren’t posting. If I’m completely honest I found the gap very useful for going through the website and trying out so much of your recipes, formulas, etc… (one of the most useful and one that I shared often is the dust repellent. It works a treat on so many things both inside and outside the house. Window shutters, wooden or metal balconies, dark wrought iron furniture, etc).
Thank you very much for all your beautifully presented and effective formulas. They are much appreciated. Keep up the good work if and when you can. If you can’t then know that we will wait until you’re up to it again.
Ag
Mark says
atPrayers for you and your family. I mainly wanted to say, keep up the great work.
Wanda Dever says
atSo sorry for everything you have been going through. It is a lot to handle at one time. Faith will help you and give you the strength you need to “weather” the storm. Prayers are with you and your family.
Gayl L Illikainen says
atLove your blog, and yes was wondering what happened to you….So very sorry so much has happened to you in such a short time span too….Glad your Mom got good news….Keeping you all in my prayers and my thoughts….
Laura janning says
atPraying over your family and for complete removal of the cancer from your mom. Big hugs!
Kenny Kuhner says
atLove you guys Jess. Prayers for you all.
Brenda says
atSending prayers for healing for your entire family. You bring joy to us in every email, video, and blog… but if you need to take a few breaks over the next year, please do and take care of your little tribe. We will always be here when you get back. <3
Toni says
atI am so sorry for your loss and all the challenging things that are going on in your family. I lost my husband in February I know, it is not easy. Growing up, my mother used to say DO YOUR BEST – THE HECK WITH THE REST!!! Those words have really helped me through my life. We can only do so much.
Prayers for your Mom and your family. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
Jan says
atGod bless you sweet lady. Sending prayers to you and your beautiful Mother. I will put your Mother and all who love her on my prayer list. Stay strong.